Web Search FAQ: 2015 Edition

A long time ago (long enough ago that we missed 2014), I did a blog post on the various search terms people have used to find my website, singling out those searches that I suspect my content was unable to help with. I decided it was time for an update. Because I’m a giver.

why people under the age of 21 shouldn’t enter talent shows

Because they are young and spry, and how can the rest of us old people compete with that? I mean, how can we?! I had a karate grading on the weekend, and there were these young’uns who were doing kicks above their heads, when I could barely kick above my knee. (Of course, their heads were down around my knees, but still*.)

Seriously, I have no idea. Still, if it’s an all-ages talent show, maybe you should just get over it and move on?

*That is a lie. I am very short.

subject of books written in past

There … were rather a lot. I think we need to narrow this down a little. I mean, how far in the past are we talking? Early on, religion featured rather heavily, but subjects have broadened out somewhat in modern times. And by somewhat I mean that if you can think of it, there’s a book that’s been written on it.

martha jones love

HELLS YES. She’s the most maligned of the Doctor’s companions, but I loved her so much. Not as much as Donna, but, you know, a lot. I really felt for her. She was fiercely intelligent in her own right, stubborn and brave. Sure, she fell in love with Ten, but have you seen David Tennant? Besides, he swept in, saved the day and pashed her in the course of the adventure. My ovaries would explode on the spot!

Eyebrow Doctor

sexy adverbs

I can see where you’re going here, but if you’re considering writing erotica, maybe steer clear of too many adverbs? Still, here are a few to get you started:

breathily, firmly, tightly, softly, hard (but not hardly; that’s not very sexy), lusciously, moistly

Okay, maybe not moistly. Still, you do you.

how to research a city for a fiction novel

I used Wikipedia a lot. And Google Maps. Seriously, that thing is a gift — when I was writing a scene in Melpomene’s Daughter that takes place in London, I actually found the street that the characters were standing on, and then used Google street view so that I could describe it properly. Google Maps is a gift to writers.

And stalkers.

cassandralord

I’m so flattered and pleased that you asked. I never asked for this honour of supreme lordship over you, and it’s a heavy burden, but of course I will accept.

Now: clean your room!

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